Testimonies
NOVEMBER 2010: My Salvation - a testimony from Richard Foster
This is a story of salvation, but is also a testament to the beautiful work the Lord does when saving people.
Until a few months ago, I would not have set foot in a church. The only times I ever had before were for weddings, christenings, funerals and trips. I was raised in a non-religious family – saying my parents are atheists is probably going a bit far, but they certainly never made me or my brother go to church, or, as far as I know, have willingly attended a service once they were old enough to choose. In my school years I had a massive interest in science. I loved reading about palaeontology, geology and biology. For this reason, I did not believe in God, Jesus, the Bible, Heaven, Hell, none of it. There was no glorious afterlife, you simply die and decompose in a box. I acknowledged that Jesus of Nazareth was a real person, and no doubt a great teacher, who died for his beliefs, but the Son of God? No. Conceived to a virgin? Not possible. And the Resurrection? Absurd. So that paints a pretty clear picture about my views at this time.
My first experience came when I was 19, after my grandfather passed away. Myself and my family were at his side when it happened. Afterwards I wanted some space to collect my thoughts, and found myself being drawn to a room. This room was the Hospice's Chapel, and it was empty. My eye locked on the crucifix, and within seconds I was praying to Jesus. Me. Praying! Anyway, my scientific brain quickly explained this as being overcome with grief. Although I dismissed it and it didn't change my views, the experience never left me. A few years later I was on holiday in Rome, and there is a church at the top of the Spanish Steps that contains many great pieces of art. While inside, again I was drawn, this time to a sculpture of Jesus' body being taken down from the Cross, and again I felt an overwhelming need to pray. Once again, I believed I had been caught up in the moment, made the sign of the Cross, and left. I now know that these were moments when Jesus was reaching out for me to embrace Him.
A few years later, and I was completely settled. I was doing well in a job I loved, and was engaged to a girl I was totally in love with. Within a few months it all came crashing down. My relationship ended, and I was devastated. Although I would put a brave face on it, inside I was dying. I did not know pain like that existed. My job was the only thing keeping me going, and a couple of months later that came to an end. And that's when the real problems began. Depression is a term that is thrown around a lot, but I sank so deep into it there were times I wondered if I would ever get out. I am a very private person, and did not want to burden my friends or family with my problems, so bottled it up inside. So I turned to the only thing I felt I could: alcohol. And I turned to it a lot. And I became disgusted at myself for the amount I was drinking, which made the depression worse. After a while, I was over my ex, had a new job and was planning to go to university, but I was trapped, and as the weeks and months passed, it was only getting worse, and yet I still would not ask for help. I would still put a brave face on it and just act normal around other people, even though I felt so alone. I have a loving family and some of the greatest friends you could possibly ask for, yet one night I laid in bed in tears and wondered if the world would miss me if I was gone. That's how bad I was. Quickly putting those thoughts aside, I began to look for other ways out. At the time I was reading WWE wrestler Shawn Michaels' autobiography, and there was a section in there where he was explaining how he was suffering from depression and one night he felt the Lord's presence, and his depression went away, and things started getting better for him. I began to read about more people "finding God", and began to wish that would happen to me. Now, I easily could have gone to a church, but in fear of jumping on some sort of Christian bandwagon, and still having my scientific brain in gear, I would not go until I had had a genuine religious experience (forgetting the previous two!). I would lie in bed and beg for God to come into my life. It didn't happen, or so I thought at the time. So now I began to believe that even God did not want me, He had forsaken me, even though I had begged for his help. I cannot explain how alone I felt after that. Not even God loved or wanted me. God! Strangely, soon after I found the strength to start getting better. Within a few months, my depression finally cleared up, and I wasn't getting urges to drink anymore and could control that. At the time I didn't make the connections, although it is so obvious now what happened.
The proudest day of my life so far came a while after, when I finished my final exam. I had managed to battle all that and get my degree. I immediately began thinking about the next step, and a Masters was the obvious choice. My degree is in History, my dissertation was written on Adolf Hitler, and while History was the obvious course for me to take, I was beginning to find another figure from history interesting. That man was Jesus Christ. So I decided to apply for a Religious Studies masters instead, I wanted to study the connection between history and Christianity, and Jesus from a historical perspective. One night towards the end of July this year I was looking online at historical sites in Jerusalem. I had no idea that my life was about to change that night. I genuinely did not know that it was possible to visit the cave where Jesus' body had been laid to rest, and the site of the subsequent Resurrection, and I thought that would be an amazing place for Christians to visit. I went to bed shortly after. Now, I need to explain that I was not thinking about religion, Jesus, God, Israel or anything when in bed, and I think it's important to stress that when I attempt to explain what happened next. I was actually in bed thinking I wasn't as tired as I thought, and was debating turning on my PS3 to play FIFA.
Then it happened. The Lord came into my life. It was a truly amazing moment, and I'm pretty sure my explanation will come nowhere near doing it justice. I cannot say how long it lasted, sometimes I think it went on for ages, sometimes I think it lasted an instant. As I lay in bed, I became surrounded by a tremendous presence. It didn't just surround me, it pulsated through me. Every cell of my body was buzzing. And one word, one five letter name was flowing through me. That name was Jesus! I couldn't think or speak or move, I was surrounded by the Lord's presence. His name just kept resounding through my body…Jesus…Jesus….Jesus….JESUS!!! The Lord had reached out for me. I was overwhelmed. I still am. I am in tears as I write this. It was such an amazing, beautiful moment. He had reached out for me. I had been saved. My sceptic, scientific brain was wiped away, my past was gone, even when I think about it now His name appears in my brain. At that point I knew what happened, the Lord planted it in me that I had been saved. And I knew that He had been with me all along, He had heard my cries, He gave me the strength to battle and overcome my demons, and He revealed Himself in a way that I would understand, the way I wanted it to happen. I was convinced I was forsaken, now I know I am loved. That is a feeling that I cannot put into words. I am so grateful and humbled to Him. I want to dedicate my life to Him now.
I recently watched Louie Giglio's talks, and in the How Great Is Our God one, Louie reveals the cell adhesion molecule, Leminin, is in the shape of the Cross. The molecules that hold our bodies together are in the shape of the Cross! He then talks about God's promise to hold us together. Seeing this I dropped to my knees, tears streaming down my face, clutching my Bible in prayer, I was overwhelmed at this sight, as I knew that God had held me together through my bad times. He held me together. Incredible. It is so clear to me now.
I now proudly call myself a Christian. I walk with Jesus, and feel His presence in my life. And I have never felt so alive. After my moment of revelation, I felt an overwhelming need to attend Forest Town Church, with whom I feel I am connected and my future somehow lies within it, and I look forward to that journey, whatever it may be. And although I am only starting my journey, I am excited to see where it takes me, until that day comes when the Lord takes me into His eternal glory.
"Amazing grace, how sweet the sound, that saved a wretch like me. I once was lost, but now I am found, was blind but now I see." (John Newton)
APRIL 2010: Free to serve - a testimony from Bob Clifford
[Bob went to be with the Lord in May 2011 having fought cancer himself - we will miss him and remember a man who was indeed changed by the touch of God in his life, but we look forward to seeing you again Bob]
Last christmas I was overcome with grief over the loss of my dear wife Sandra; it was the same the christmas before. I did not leave my home for four weeks. I would go to bed thinking if I did not wake up, so what?
My friend Wayne saw me one Sunday and took me to church that evening where I hid in the AV room. Wayne and Petri prayed for me that evening but I didn't know it and went home totally unaware any prayers had been said for me. I went to bed later with the same negative thoughts as always.
I awoke next morning, showered, shaved, took my dog Gemma out, and then went shopping. Only when we came home did it dawn on me, I hadn't done these things in ages - my depression was completely gone. That afternoon I had an appointment with my doctor and he was surprised at the sudden change in me. I had been seeing him every three days as he thought I was suicidal. He also examined my prostrate gland as I was booked in for an operation but he informed me that everything was back to normal and he was cancelling my operation.
That night I repaired the washing machine and as I sat listening to it running, something entered me and I found myself talking to Sandra; I told her I would grieve no more. I realise now that the Holy Spirit was at work in me. I told Sandra I will always miss her but I have to get on with my life as she'd advised me to before she passed away.
I am now totally free of any prescription medications and I thank my Holy Father for my deliverance. I wait to serve.